It’s a question that comes up every now and then during the course of a mediumship reading. If we are always sending our thoughts and feelings toward our loved ones in spirit and hoping that they remain with us, are we holding them back? Are we keeping them from moving forward – as if we are somehow taking control of their spirit and forcing them to remain here without any will power of their own?
It’s a legitimate question. There are so many belief systems that talk about spirits hanging out for specified days, or that want to restrict our response to the loss so as not to interfere with the transition of our loved one from earthly life to spiritual rebirth.
Let me assure every reader, there aren’t any hard and fast rules as to how long a person “hangs around” and we do not have any “pull” to “trap” spirits outside their own will power. That is all erroneous superstition.
When we leave the physical body, the nerve structure and its corresponding neurological network that so conveniently hypnotized us into a perception of linear time and three-dimensional space is no longer present; therefore the Mind (separate from the brain) upon its release is given a much greater field of perception. Indeed, the relationship between self and eternity at that point is realized as an intimate union, with no boundaries about the self, save for what is entertained through psychological beliefs and attitudes. The Life Review itself teaches us how and why we created events and circumstances in our former life, peeling back the curtain to the true creative powers and responsibilities we possess – and for which we failed to recognize while alive.
In acknowledging this most awesome power and how we wield it, it goes beyond most people’s current ideas regarding what is possible within the nature of earthly consciousness. Nonetheless, those in spirit insist we are the masters of our own personal destiny, and this is one of the first realizations granted us upon transitioning to the Other Side (if it is not something we have fully learned while here on earth). That being said, this expansion of awareness given to a spirit keeps them well immune from such ideologies that declare a spirit “trapped” or “stuck” for a certain amount of time before being allowed to move forward. It also precludes them from being “held back” or somehow “captive” because of our grief.
Spirits may wait to “go the distance” for many reasons, but for the most part they continue to remain close not because they haven’t fully transitioned (most have), but because they are still connected to us because of the love we share. Yes, it is that simple. Our loved ones in spirit see us grieving and want to let us know they haven’t left us and that the bond of relationship is still quite valid and intact. They want to let us know “I’m alive! I am here! I have not left you!” That is LOVE. They are doing their best to help with the pain of the death, both for themselves and for us left behind. It is compassionate, it is honorable, it is natural. They certainly are not “trapped” nor are they “stuck.”
We aren’t holding them back from “where” they need to be either. In a physical body, we are forced to perceive our position in time and space singularly. That is, at 1 o’clock I am physically in this one place, experiencing this one moment in time. My physical body doesn’t allow for me to do much more than that; it’s what the nerve structure produces for a point of focus in this reality. But for those outside a body, they are no longer bound by such limiting perception/convention. They can literally be in multiple places simultaneously. It all depends on where they choose to place their focus. That means someone in the afterlife can be enjoying themselves on some spiritual mountaintop hike in the hereafter *and* be checking you out at home at the same time. Some may choose to place all their focus back here with their loved ones, then move their thoughts again back to their new home in the hereafter. Single-tasking versus multi-tasking. It’s an individual preference, at that point.
But regardless of how a person in spirit chooses to focus their awareness, they still are living a life – albeit a more eternal one. They still have power, volition, freedom to choose, and an evolutionary path of growth still unfolding. In fact, it appears they have much more clarity in unraveling their inner spiritual natures than we do (Many have come through over the decades through various mediums declaring that while they watch us, it appears we are “asleep” – as if we are simply ignorant to our true natures because we are so hypnotized by physical reality).
If anything, we are not holding them back. Rather, they are coming forward to teach us we are holding ourselves back. They want to let us know we our own key to unlock our own self-imposed prison of limiting perceptions.
So no worries. They are free. And still able to be with us -- loving us.